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[10 Jun 2006|09:45am] |
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Fuck this.
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| Sandwich Illinois, or bust. |
[03 Jun 2006|12:10am] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
] |
Not much to say, Amy and I have parted ways, but we're still friends, which is a good thing. I still like hanging out with her a lot, and she probably feels the same way about me.
Nothing else to say, update later!
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[02 May 2006|01:44am] |
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(sic)
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| ...<---(elipse) |
[12 Apr 2006|01:42am] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
] |
Even though you kinda hurt my feelings, I wouldnt be mad if you did it again.
...Im pathetic.
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| Memories. |
[06 Apr 2006|02:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 awake |
] |
Man, I just got done rifeling through my old livejournal posts since 2 summers ago. I used to post alot (oh the little internet whore I am) then I realized something...my anus is bleeding!
I recall this little ditty I stumbled upon a while back.
My Vagina
God I love being a lady. My favorite part is my vagina. Mine is incredibly
wide and dizzyingly deep. My favorite part about having a vagina is
menstruating. Sometimes when I'm putting in my tampon, I look at the little
string hanging out and pretend it's a mouse's tail. I run out of the
bathroom naked and yell, "Help! Help! There's a mouse in my vagina! This
usually gets a big laugh- especially if I'm at the office, or the mall, or
on an airplane.
Sometimes I pretend the string is a fuse, and that if I light it a special
bomb will go off in my vagina and my period will be over. For any of you
who are curious, this is not what happens when you light the string on your
tampon. Even if you have soaked the tampon in kerosene overnight. Trust me
I've tried it almost a dozen times without success. It does however work
when you use a combination of potassium chlorate, table sugar and a small
drop of sulfuric acid.
I like to employ my used tampons to make "vampire soup". I got the recipe
from 'Martha Stewart's Living'- although I use fresh basil. We bring it
down to the homeless shelter and they lap it up! I also serve it at slumber
parties when my girlfriends come over to watch 'Angel'. It just makes
everything so much more authentic. After that we normally run around the
house in our bras and panties and have tickle fights. Then we practice our
French kissing on each other.
I don't let any of the girls go down on me during my period. They have to
settle for tonguing my brown starfish. But my boyfriend is another story.
I like to keep my boyfriend guessing about when I'm actually on the rag.
That way I can act completely irrational whenever I want. He gets mad
when he goes down on me and finds out I'm having my period. But he
gets me back by coating my vibrator with chopped glass. Ouch!
But in spite of all of the ups and downs, I love being a lady. Recently,
I've been trying to get pregnant by stuffing my vagina with sperm I find on
the floor of the porno theatre behind my house. Wish me luck, I'll keep you
posted.
My roommate makes sounds when he's sleeping. it's fucking creepy.
I've been really lax in my seeing of movies in the Theater. I think this weekend Imma go and just sit in a theater and just watch like 3. V for Vendetta and Slither. I might sneak in another one if Im feelin frisky.
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[30 Mar 2006|01:09am] |
Omg, I love SomethingAwful.com
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| Undescribable |
[25 Mar 2006|12:09am] |
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I just got done reading the first issue of "Infinite Crisis" the new comic book series to come out from DC. Words cannot describe how good it is. So good.
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[23 Mar 2006|01:20am] |
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If anyone can help me find a copy, or perhaps an MP3 file of the song "Cavemen Rejoice" by The Bags, your help would be greatly appreciated.
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| Fun scare! |
[19 Feb 2006|11:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 chipper |
] |
Lemme start at the begining.
Ryan trattles is a CA and every sunday him and another CA that's a friend of his have to go on "duty" where they patrol the building and make sure everything is ok. So I live on 9th floor and 10th is being renovated so no one is up there and it's uber creepy. Ryan, Travis, Roi, Mike and I come up with this eleborate plan to scare the other CA Andrea. They start in the middle go down one end of the building, then double back and check the other end of the floor. Travis hid in one room where they started and he made these magnets I have make a noise, which startled her but she wasnt to phased, then when she walke by my room I ran passed and went "HISSSSSSSSS" and then she freaked out and that was hilarous. So then after she catches me we all go down one end of the building and double back where on the other side mike and roi are waiting. As we walk by Mike slams one of the doors in the room behind us and that scares the crap out of her, she turns around and screams from the door slamming, when two rooms down from this Roi jumps out behind her and screams which just further scares her more. I felt kinda bad because she started to tear up, but it was all in good fun.
It was...the best scare I've ever been a part of.
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| Bacteria sample cirisis, 2005 |
[02 Feb 2006|04:52pm] |
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Ok, for my bio 106 class they gave us all a petri plate with some delicious Nutrient Agar in it. They want us to get some bacteria in there, they suggested dust, but I came up with a better idea: Vagina goo. As we all know, vaginas are loaded with bacteria and what better place to get vaginal bacteria is that of a female college student! Well, I asked Kayla and Tara, niether of which agreed to it, but my search continues.
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[13 Dec 2005|10:05pm] |
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mood |
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Clean |
] |
Man, it would be so sweet to have a hook for a hand.
Totally pirate like.
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| French toast |
[06 Dec 2005|01:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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calm |
] |
Ok, so Chris Fox and I were walking to class on Monday when out of the corner of my eye I see an object glimmering in the snow! I began frantically digging and digging in the snow to retreve my treasure. Whilst Chris Fox is ejaculating:
"Saul! Oh whatever did you find!"
I soon pulled up a great find indeed. For it was a burned CD entitled "Pimp Jeep CD 2". What really amazed me was that this is the second edition of the "Pimp Jeep CD" volume. We soon made haste to class, eagarly awaiting the surprize that lied in wait on the magical disk. After class I proceeded back to my hovel upon which Bradly Horner was there anticipating my return.
"Oh saul! I've been anticipating your retunrn!" Brad exclaimed.
"I have found treasure, Brad! We shall soon be as rich as kings!" I responded
"What manner of treasure be this?" Brad inquisitivly asked.
I showed him the CD I found in the snow and he shook me in excitement. We then proceeded to the great Lord Ryan Trattles room to show him the great plunder.
"Who enters here!" Ryan thundered through the echoey halls.
"'Tis I sir! I have gotten great spoils on my journey afar." I humbly replied.
I showed him the CD and his eyes lit up with the fire of which has not been seen for many moons.
"We shall listen to this now!" The great Lord shouted.
He then entered the CD into his disk drive, pulled up iTunes and began to listen to the CD. It had in its contents 18 tracks the first of which which was...
..."The OC" theme song!
Ryan barked, "OOOH! What horror does this bring to my ears! Begone this cursed thing, begone!"
So as far as we can tell some girl made this CD, as far as it being a "Pimp Jeep CD", hardley. I'll update a track listing ASAP.
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| "I want some fuckin' French Toast." |
[04 Dec 2005|03:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cheerful |
] |
Oh my god, we just got done watching "The 40 Year Old Virgin" funniest movie I've seen in a long time.
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| "...she had nice tits." |
[16 Nov 2005|07:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
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chipper |
] |
List 7 songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now.Post these instructions in your Livejournal along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they're listening to.
1. Dark New Day-Brother
2. Gorillaz-DARE
3. Cradle of Filth-Nymphetamine
4. Primer 55-I get Loose
5. CKY-Dressed in Decay
6. Cold-Happens All The Time
7. Deftones-Change
I dont fucking have enough friends for this shit!
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| That's what you do baby, hold it down. |
[05 Nov 2005|01:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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hungry |
] |
Aw man, I've been really gassy lately.
Ah college, some might say this is the Great American Challange. Things are going well, I schedule for my new classes the 10th. Which is a lot later than most people because my grades last year were...well, not the "best".
It's 1 o'clock, Im hungry I might go get some food soon. I dont know if anyone else is up though. Hrm...
Facebook me, bitches!
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kaiserbill's journal